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Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Lost 100lbs..Not giving up..Still going to the gym

Year 2004: WT: 180lbs, down 100lbs.  Wearing size 18: Twice a week only.
It took a year and half of constant exercise and never going off or straying from the diet I was on to lose 100lbs. I lost the weight slowly. It might seem fast, but for me it wasn’t. A year is good in terms of losing that much weight slowly and carefully.   I stopped focusing so much on the amount of weight I had to lose, and started concentrating on toning up. It’s amazing how much we can stretch our skin, and how we can “Snap” it back. The skin on our bodies, is truly like rubber bands, we can bend, move at almost every angle, snap, and break..
The Machines.
So I continued taking Core Strengthening classes, and decided it was also time to incorporate the machines.  I took it really slow like molasses on a cold winter day. I got on the stair climber maybe twice and I thought to myself, I already have good size strong legs and decided this machine was not for me anymore. I needed something that will work my whole body, but wasn’t quite ready for that, so I got on the stationary bike. I liked the bike. It helped me put the breathing techniques I learned into action. It paid off. I was on the bike for a month, than all of a sudden I decided to get on the Elliptical machine. This machine is like drugs to the addict. I loved it. I started out slowly like 10 min, I can still breathe. 15 minutes and I still can breathe and have not coughed up a lung yet.  So I challenged myself to stay on the elliptical machine for at least 30 minutes and low and behold, I can still breathe, lungs not killing me, I am sweating up a storm. I looked down at the machine and noticed It was calculating the calories burned and my heart rate! This was so cool I thought to myself. All of a sudden I felt like a kid in Toys “R” Us that just ate a pound of sugar.  I wanted to work my body on every machine in the gym. I thought to myself if keep working out and watching what I eat, I WILL have a brand new body. I switched up Elliptical machines to a more advanced machine, where I could adjust the incline and resistance.  I got addicted to this machine, like a drug addict. I push myself to this very day to the point of no return. I made a promise to myself when I started LOSING WEIGHT to NEVER BE OBESE OR OVERWEIGHT AGAIN IN MY LIFE. EVER!!! This machine led to that machine and before you know it, I am using close to every machine in the gym working my whole body, not just parts of the body.  The whole body including my face and neck, even though I didn’t realize or see what was happening to me.  It’s a miracle to me that I’ve kept the willpower to keep going. I am almost afraid to stop, for fear of gaining the weight back.
Thus, the title, Thin little fat girl.   In the back of my mind, I am still the fat girl. I still feel more comfortable being around people that are overweight at times. I have never been thin, so losing mass amounts of weight is not only a body adjustment, but a psychological adjustment as well.  I hope one day, I will no longer look at myself and see the fat. Yes, I still do at times. Remember, I had a disease and I tackled it head on, but like I said earlier,  healing psychologically takes a bit more time. I am in control now. I no longer allow food to control me or my emotions.

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